I keep wanting to quote my favorite parts of this, but they are literally all my favorite parts. My mother died one year to the day after my daughter, too young and too early, and all of this is so deeply familiar.
Beautifully touching. The hole of grief, how we tend to it and how some days we wish for it to swallow us completely.
But you’re right, she’s not waiting on the other side of that dark well. She’s with you in the quiet moments, and I especially appreciated how you described her expanding into her cells that are your cells that she breathed life into. We are all a part of each other, a part of this soil, this Earth, even after we’ve physically departed.
Happy 75th Earth birth to your dear Mum. She must be very proud of you. 💞
Thank you Clem for sharing so beautifully and eloquently. Your mother would be very proud of you. I am very grateful that my parents who are both in the eighties are still with me and full of vigour. I am anxious about when the time comes for them to depart this realm. Time passes perversely in an instant yet so slowly. I have faced my mortality several times since 2018 and I now have a condition that means that life is fragile. It makes me think deeply and it makes me ponder my good fortune. When I see the evil in this world, the horror vested upon the innocents in Gaza, in Sudan, on women, on those of us who are people of colour and sometimes you question why. I take a lot of strength from you Clem, from your friends Karen P and Jill S. Your voices and your presence are a bulwark in the battle for a good and just world.
This is so beautiful. We lost my Dad exactly 1 week ago, and while it’s a different connection than I have with my Mum, we were a tight family unit. He was the steady hand, the calm voice of reason in a tumultuous family, and a safe space for my twin sister and I. He was so intelligent, had amazing recollection, and always had an interesting story to share. He knew so much about history and after 39 years I was still amazed at what he knew. He was an introvert, like me, a great listener and the most gentle man I ever knew. I love how you honored your Mum on her birthday and in your everyday life, I can only hope to make my Dad as proud 🙏🏻
This is a beautiful reflection and tribute to both you and your mother, Clem. It speaks to me and my 13 year old grief. I shed some tears and remembered sage advice I once received in a condolence card, 'speak of her often'.
Oh Clem, I’m so happy u got to spend that time with your Mum on her birthday.
I had my own similar experience this month on the anniversary of the passing of my good friend, who was taken from us too soon from cancer.
I hadn’t realised it was the anniversary, as all my other friends & family that knew her are in NZ, where she live(s)d with her family. And a few days before I had booked a solo movie date with myself to see Anatomy of a Fall (on the reco of another friend)…the tickets booked for the anniversary of her death.
And the morning of my solo movie date I opened Facebook to find posts from her family marking the day & the realisation hit me hard…it wasn’t just about the enormity of the day but that I was going to a movie that Kath would’ve loved & in fact in choosing to go by myself I was actually choosing to go with her.
So I went to the movie & it was EVERYTHING…a glorious perfection of a movie that I’m still processing & will still process for a long time to come. And after the movie I got back to my car & I cried so hard…for everything that I’ve lost in her passing, but for everything I feel in her still being with me. And as I cried by new Apple Watch buzzed…& the little award popped up…that said well done you’ve doubled your daily move goal 200% on 14 April 2024 (1 year since the date she passed). And it was like she was sending me a message…that I wasn’t alone, that that 200% meant that she was there with me…for the hardest year I’ve ever had…& I made it. And I laughed so hard…cos I felt her there with me…sending me the message with the little reward, like a tap on the shoulder…but also in everything around me that was supporting me in that moment & had been over the last year. And my tears of sadness, turned to tears of gratitude…that I had her there looking out for me, along with all the other great people I’ve lost but still carry with me.
And I just hope everyone gets the chance to feel that love & support around them…especially in a moment when they need it most. 💕🫶🏼💫
Look, I’m smiling at you, I’m smiling in you, I’m smiling through you. How can I be dead if I breathe in every quiver of your hand?
Abram Tertz, from ‘The Icicle’,
Wendy xxx
I keep wanting to quote my favorite parts of this, but they are literally all my favorite parts. My mother died one year to the day after my daughter, too young and too early, and all of this is so deeply familiar.
Beautifully touching. The hole of grief, how we tend to it and how some days we wish for it to swallow us completely.
But you’re right, she’s not waiting on the other side of that dark well. She’s with you in the quiet moments, and I especially appreciated how you described her expanding into her cells that are your cells that she breathed life into. We are all a part of each other, a part of this soil, this Earth, even after we’ve physically departed.
Happy 75th Earth birth to your dear Mum. She must be very proud of you. 💞
Thank you Clem for sharing so beautifully and eloquently. Your mother would be very proud of you. I am very grateful that my parents who are both in the eighties are still with me and full of vigour. I am anxious about when the time comes for them to depart this realm. Time passes perversely in an instant yet so slowly. I have faced my mortality several times since 2018 and I now have a condition that means that life is fragile. It makes me think deeply and it makes me ponder my good fortune. When I see the evil in this world, the horror vested upon the innocents in Gaza, in Sudan, on women, on those of us who are people of colour and sometimes you question why. I take a lot of strength from you Clem, from your friends Karen P and Jill S. Your voices and your presence are a bulwark in the battle for a good and just world.
This is absolutely beautiful. Sending you love ❤️
This is so beautiful. We lost my Dad exactly 1 week ago, and while it’s a different connection than I have with my Mum, we were a tight family unit. He was the steady hand, the calm voice of reason in a tumultuous family, and a safe space for my twin sister and I. He was so intelligent, had amazing recollection, and always had an interesting story to share. He knew so much about history and after 39 years I was still amazed at what he knew. He was an introvert, like me, a great listener and the most gentle man I ever knew. I love how you honored your Mum on her birthday and in your everyday life, I can only hope to make my Dad as proud 🙏🏻
This is a beautiful reflection and tribute to both you and your mother, Clem. It speaks to me and my 13 year old grief. I shed some tears and remembered sage advice I once received in a condolence card, 'speak of her often'.
That is so beautiful. Thank you, Clem.
Oh Clem, I’m so happy u got to spend that time with your Mum on her birthday.
I had my own similar experience this month on the anniversary of the passing of my good friend, who was taken from us too soon from cancer.
I hadn’t realised it was the anniversary, as all my other friends & family that knew her are in NZ, where she live(s)d with her family. And a few days before I had booked a solo movie date with myself to see Anatomy of a Fall (on the reco of another friend)…the tickets booked for the anniversary of her death.
And the morning of my solo movie date I opened Facebook to find posts from her family marking the day & the realisation hit me hard…it wasn’t just about the enormity of the day but that I was going to a movie that Kath would’ve loved & in fact in choosing to go by myself I was actually choosing to go with her.
So I went to the movie & it was EVERYTHING…a glorious perfection of a movie that I’m still processing & will still process for a long time to come. And after the movie I got back to my car & I cried so hard…for everything that I’ve lost in her passing, but for everything I feel in her still being with me. And as I cried by new Apple Watch buzzed…& the little award popped up…that said well done you’ve doubled your daily move goal 200% on 14 April 2024 (1 year since the date she passed). And it was like she was sending me a message…that I wasn’t alone, that that 200% meant that she was there with me…for the hardest year I’ve ever had…& I made it. And I laughed so hard…cos I felt her there with me…sending me the message with the little reward, like a tap on the shoulder…but also in everything around me that was supporting me in that moment & had been over the last year. And my tears of sadness, turned to tears of gratitude…that I had her there looking out for me, along with all the other great people I’ve lost but still carry with me.
And I just hope everyone gets the chance to feel that love & support around them…especially in a moment when they need it most. 💕🫶🏼💫